There Goes My Baby

I guess she really isn't a "baby" anymore. Still a toddler, but her baby face is gone, and soon, like her sisters, she'll look like a little girl. She loves the color orange-red. She likes to pretend she's a monster and then tickle you. She has one of the three best laughs I've ever heard. She's three, on the tall side of normal, and a little ball of sunshine.

Lili just might be starting school next week. I was sad when Ella left, but I knew there would be siblings after her. Lili is my last born. I might have other children, but babies...no. I used to be ashamed to say it, but I no longer am. Babies, that live with me, are hard. We might adopt more, but God is going to have sky write it if I'm to have more. I'm not ready.

I'm not ready to put her on a bus for the day. I'm not ready to not be there to kiss her boo boos, which she'll get because the force of gravity seems to work really hard on my girls. I'm not ready to be alone.

I do, however, know that I want her to be the best she can be, and if she too needs some help, then she does. Whether I like it or not. Which I don't.

I'm very sad tonight. The song has never been more true...they really do slip through your fingers all the time....