(awkward and awesome)

(awkward and awesome)
First Wive's Club...one of Ma's favorites

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Down By 6

Gold star for Jen! That's what Weight Watchers gives you when you lose your first 5 pounds. At 35, gold stars still work. Heck yes. I am now down by 6 lbs. I can't kick. Still working out the cooking thing. If you like to cook, I don't understand you, but I'm willing to like you anyway.

Also, my good friend Vic would have you believe that I don't eat. This is untrue. I eat much more now. Listen to her not. I'm better after two weeks of tracking what I eat.

I learned something new about Jen this week. I'm not a stress eater. Quite the opposite. When stressed, I don't want to eat. I just want to take care of the problem. Eating is not priority. The rough/busy days with the kids are the days I have the hardest time keeping up with my points. I will have to learn how to manage that. And that's about it.

Now for my story. I don't know if it's funny, but I was impressed. I am giving #3 an airplane ride. You know, when you lie on your back and lift the kid in the air with your feet. Well, she dropped her Bakka (her teddy from Aunt Shannie as well as her woobie). I said, "Aw, you dropped Bakka." The child gets a most satisfied grin and says, "No, I didn't." She caught Bakka with her toes! Her toes people!

We have a baby Viking Ninja! Yeah Baby! Fear us, for we have spawned children who could rule the planet by use of their toes only! (There it is....there's the drama. Found it.)

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Don't Say That!

Okay, here you go.  A list of things you shouldn't say.  Why?  Because you can bet your boots that saying them will only bring pain or humiliation.  It's just the way it is.

1)  If you are in any kind of situation where you are in a hurry or might possibly be in the woods in high heels, never say, "I'll be right back."  There is gonna be an unforseen and most unavoidable delay if you're in a hurry OR a guy with a chain saw if you're in heels.

2) Don't say "Could it get any worse?"  Yes.  Yes, it can.  Do not challenge fate.  She will come at you, Bro.  She's got a knife in her boot, and she knows where your hinie is.

3)  "Lord, give me patience."  He will not give you that.  He will give a reason to practice patience which is much, much worse.  No. NO.

4)  Never say never.  If you do, be prepared to do just that.  You'll never marry a nerd?  Ha!  You will walk down the aisle with a guard of Stormtroopers hailing you with the light sabers they've stolen from fallen Jedi knights during a LARP.  Just you wait.

5)  Unless you have a death wish or the desire for great bodily injury, do NOT say "Hey y'all!  Watch this!"  They will watch.  It will be so sad, painful, and hard not to laugh at.  Just...yeah, don't do that.

6)  All non-parents, do not say, "I'd never let my kid...."  You have no idea what you're saying because you have no idea what parenthood is.  Just shut your pie hole.  You will go from arrogant, judgy-judgerpants to a really sweet person who understands that parents aren't perfect.  So easy.  All you have to do is shut up!  And then, when you let you kid do that thing you swore you'd never let them do, you're not a hypocrite.  Bonus!

I'm sure there are more, but that's all I got for now.  I will say this:  You rock!  Remember that and pass it on.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Quick and Simple

So I've lost 2 more pounds so yay!  I would like to see a bigger loss, but it's better than nothing.

Our current menu selection
Also, I've discovered that I really do dislike cooking.  True story.

 To cook healthy meals, it takes forever.  I'm willing to do it for the good of all.  I do, however, get most miffy when little girls won't even try the food I work so hard to make.  Are you kidding me?  At least act like I poisoned you AFTER you take a bite...man!  Rude.  It makes it harder to do things when you know you will get zero positivity for your efforts.  (There is a sermon in that somewhere.)

Basically, the girls are losing weight too because I'm only cooking one dinner.  They sure have been chowing down at breakfast though. Interesting n'est pas?  I've put the really good recipes that everyone seems to like in the EAT ME section, so take a look.

I gots more FFF on the way today, so this is it for now.  I'm sure I'll have more fun and frivolity to come!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Suck It Up Sat...(a few days later)

Back at the Rabbit Trail: And seriously, how cute is this little guy? In love!

FFF this Saturday left no room for blogging. FFF= Forced Family Fun. It's when you have fun as a family even if you must do it at gun point. It's a good time.

Anyway, so I have lost 2 lbs. so far on the Weight Watchers. Not bad. I find that I really am having trouble keeping up with meals. I just don't eat. What can I say? I'm a fat chick breaking the molds of society. Well, I'm eating more now.

I'm drinking more water. I was drinking diet soda BUT studies show that drinking diet soda (due to it's artificial sweetness) tricks the brain into treating the NOT-sugar like sugar so...that's messed up.

So that's pretty much it so far. I do have a funny story for you. If you don't laugh, the terrorists win.

Sooooo I'm at the Wal-Mart when I hear my name. It's Bama Mamma with newly dyed hair, looking foxy. Now, she has not met my girls, and like every proud mother, I take this opportunity do introduce my middle child. As raise my arm to make introductions to the little girl looking at baby clothes with her back to us, she proceeds to lift her dress, put her hand in her unders and scratch her left buttock. True story. I am shocked into silence. Bama Dad sums it up by saying, "Looks like someone's got an itch." How correct and horrifying at the same time.

Nothing but class from the Easley girls....nothing but class. So proud.

A quick peek into the Inside Joke Jar: Bird!

So anyway, that's it for this week. I'll let you know about week two in my adventures of WW.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

It Seems So Easy...

I realize that blogging is vanity.  I mean really.  Stop your life, and check out mine.  I just can't help myself though.  The less therapy I have to pay for, the more shoes I can buy.  Besides, I love to write and encourage people.  I'm not the only one with crazy out there.  Together, we can all laugh and get through it to the next zany adventure.  Hey, I'm a sanguine...it's fun or bust baby.

I'm also woman.  A woman who likes bling, glitter, hot pink and bows with feathers.  Heck yes.  Ipso Facto:  I want my blog to be pretty.  Much easier said then done.  So be patient if things looked rather cracked out.  I could have Bear just do it for me, but I want to learn how to do this myself.  Learning keeps you smart you know.  If you have any tips or ideas, please leave comments.  I'm up for any and all suggestions.

Friday, April 6, 2012

'Fess Up Friday

"Can he see us?"
Okay, so I've been called out on the fact that I have not been suckin' it up on Saturday.  I could say I've been busy with kids, life rockin' and rollin' and whatnot.  All true.  I have been busy, but I've also been hiding.  I have nothing to report.  Nothing is happening.  Not weight lost.  In fact, I've gained some.  Craptastic.

 So the same o'l same ol' ain't working.  I blame age and the internet.  The internet because isn't it responsible for everything?  I think I saw the internet shop-lifting at Wal-mart forcing them to drive up price for us law abiding citizens even.  Age because I'm comfortable with me.  I like me.  I'm cool with being fat.  The problem is all the problems that come with being fat the longer I am fat.  I'm NOT comfortable with heart problems, joint issues and weight related diseases.  So once AGAIN, the consequences keep me from doing what I really want to do....danged sense of responsibility for my actions!

If I keep doing what I'm doing, I'm gonna keep getting what I got so I gots to do something new:  today is the day I sign up for Weight Watchers On-line.  Why?  Because while I'm comfomy with my jiggle:  I'm not okay with not being able to hang out with my grandkids.  I'm not okay with that article that said I'll be fat forever (see previous posted rant for more info on that).  I'm not okay with my girls seeing me quit when it comes to my health.  I'm not okay with back fat.  I don't have that yet, but let's just nip it the bud shall we?

Suck It Up Saturdays are back on.  Team Me is back in business.  Join me on Team Me and I'll make you a shirt with your reason for fat eviction.  Let's get un-comfy people.