(awkward and awesome)

(awkward and awesome)
First Wive's Club...one of Ma's favorites

Sunday, November 27, 2011

I'm Sorry...What?

Look. I know that with things like Facebook and texting that whole talk to someone in person thing gets so 1980's, but there are some benefits to it. Things like voice inflection and tone are 93% of communication as well as facial indicators and body language. Actual words only count for 7%. Amazing. So is it any wonder that rumors spread faster then wildfire? Not really. Does it make it suck any less...not at all. It's especially numbing when you are left thinking if these people you've known as long as you can remember have even met you. Madness.

So as to dampen the spirit of slap before it arises, let me put to bed a few rumors that have started for reasons unknown.

1) I want a puppy, not a baby. Two very different things puppies and babies. True story.
2) I'm at my limit at three kids. I don't want anymore. I kinda feel like a jerk saying that, but it's true. I really don't want to have any more babies. I wouldn't mind adopting a potty trained child, and to avoid yet another rumor, we are not currently about to adopt any children. Just saying I wouldn't mind.
3) Bear is fine with three girls. He is not pushing me to have anymore children so that he can have another shot at a son. He is happy with what he has. Plus, after 12 years of marriage, he realizes that pushing me one way only results in me pushing back with the force of an enraged rhino. He's smart like that.
4) I am not nice. Just because I don't normally cause a scene or cut people for no reason doesn't mean I will not call you on your crap, tell you when you are full of it or to please shut up before I rip your lungs out of you nose and make you eat them for dinner. I will, but only if the situation calls for it. I'm adult like that.

I end with this. Do understand that I am not just typing this behind the mask of the blog. I would say this to your face if need be. If I did want another baby, what do you care? You don't pay my bills, and I ask you for nothing. We don't even qualify for WIC, so you don't even support me with taxes, sooooooo zip it Skippy. How big my family is concerns you not. As for Bear, if you think for one second that he is pushy or controlling, you don't know him. He is considerate and kind and HE is the nice one, not me. He did point out (it had merit too) that saying that we need to have a boy in the house implies that there is something wrong with just having girls. That's insulting. People pray for what we have, and we are thankful. Again, zip it. And if you haven't noticed, I'm done being civil. If you have a question or concern about me or my family, bring it to me. I'll help set you straight if needs be or possibly even confirm your worst fear. I'll be honest with you though, and then you can at least be spreading news and not rumors. Yeah! (See? You couldn't hear the sarcasm in that Yeah could you? No...rumor)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

It's Late...Again...I've Been Thinking...Again...

Many of my Facebookians are participating in the Give Thanks For Something Each Day thing. Very cool. I like it. I think that Non-thankfulness is one of our biggest sins as a whole. Are we truly thankful for what we have been given. Right. Now. Are you thankful?

I remember all too well the day I was at TR Jackson Pre-K. Ella had been there for a few months, and she was improving daily. At the time, her big new thing was to yell, "But I love you!" after she had been naughty and was being corrected. It was the only time she said it. I was relating this story to Ella's teacher and the school nurse, who was at Ella's class for some reason. I noticed the nurse was getting teary. She said her son was completely non-verbal, and his prognosis was that he would never talk and would more than likely never say, "I love you." She just looked at me with such longing. It was heartbreaking.

I was truly ashamed at that moment. I was NOT thankful for what I had. Ella just needed some help. She would improve to the point of not shutting up when she really, really should. I couldn't see that then. God used that nurse to remind me that He brings me good things albeit challenging sometimes. I need to be thankful for what I have right now this very moment. Not what God might bring tomorrow because He hasn't promised me tomorrow.

These are things I'm thankful for right now even some of these things are challenges to be met.

1) I am thankful for my Amazonian girls. Yes, they are crazy tall, and yes, it's hard for them. Yes, it's hard for me because I don't want them to go through the crap I had to go through for being the tallest girl in the class. However, my girls are so healthy, they won't stop growing, and I thank you, Jesus, for their continued good health.

2) I am thankful for a husband who is faithful and is a hard worker. He's not the most Rico Suave guy in the world. He can be awkward, shy and geeky. He's also taller than me when I'm wearing six inch heels...okay, I don't wear six inch heels but if i did... He gets me. He's cool with my weird. He might not be the world's pick of Prince Charming, but the world is so into fake that genuine is ignored. I'll take my genuine bottle of awesome sauce, and the world can keep it's prince charmings.

3) I am thankful for my family. We're messed up. We'll give you the clothes off our backs. If we like you, sorry about your luck, but you can't even get paroled out of the family. We are loyal until the end, unless you jerk us around and then we make your life miserable. No, we're not perfect, but I wouldn't be the kind of person who stands up for others when no one else does if I had not seen it so often done and celebrated in my own family. We're messed up, but you so want us on your side.

4) I'm thankful for all of my crazy friends. None a sane one in the pack, and thank you, God, for that. They're normal, mind you, but they can get super crazy and I love it! I love it! I love it! I love people that don't have to be like everyone else, but they aren't jerks or weird to be original. They are just unapologetic about being the people God made them to be. I respect that. I like that. Be you. Do you. Let God tell you who you are and no one else. So cool.

5) I am thankful that despite my mismanagement of my body, God has given me relatively good health. By doing so, He's given me the opportunity to correct my bad behavior and become a better steward of my body. He has things for me to do, but if I'm not fit enough to do them, I'm pretty sure that's going to come up on Judgement Day. Just sayin'.

6) I am thankful for the house I live in, the van I drive, the food in the pantry and the cross-stitch in the tin. I am blessed beyond the curse for His promise will endure, that His joy is going to be my strength! Which leads us to...that's right...

7) I am thankful for my annoyingly optimistic Pollyanna world view. If I ruin your pity party with "The Bright Side" of the situation: I don't care. I just don't. Quit your belly achin'. Get up. Try again or try something else. If you need to unload, I have no problem with that. It's all the picking it back up and saying, "Look at that! Can you believe that?" That will make me all, "Yeah, that sucks. What are you going to do about it? How are you going to un-suckify that?" If you want a place to wallow, we don't do that here. You're going to leave unhappy.

My stuff might not be what your dreams are made of, but I'm glad God brought them my way. I'm thankful for every last little bitty thing I've got right this very minute because I'm not promised tomorrow. Neither are you.

Are you thankful?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Things Currently Out of My Control

1) I have jury duty tomorrow.
2) Ella won't stop talking. She just won't. Not even when her life is on the line because she has once again crossed the line. It's madness.
3) The kids want me to make them dinner EVERY night. Admittedly, this is my fault as I've endulged them for the past 9 years, but still.
4) Eric backs up the kids about dinner.
5) I want a puppy. I would just like to nurture a little thing that isn't human... probably because they don't talk back.
6) I need new bras. I just do...stupid mammary glands!
7) I could use a hair cut but what I really need is to dye my hair due to the hostile take over of gray hair. Rude.
8) My computer randomly jumps around and deletes things....I could kick a squirrel over that one.
9) I can't remember by Playlist.com password so I can change my playlist on this blog. I ask for them to send it to me, but the password change email never comes through. Jen say ggrrrrr.
10) There is no more sweet tea in my cup.

The above may drive some to drink...it drives me to Pinterest. There I can look at the lovely things God made and remember that He is in control. Now join with me in prayer that I will not hurt any children....and that they would shut up...for just 5 minutes together...just asking for 5 minutes so I can pee alone or some ridiculous thing like that...make your own dang dinner, dang it! Man!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Steam Punk is My Sub-Culture

I'm not gonna lie, the is my absolute favorite Disney Princess image because every single one of them look as if they will cut you; they don't need saving. Nothing wrong with Prince Charming, but I want my girls to believe that they can rescue themselves as long as they relay on the Almighty. (He's the original Prince Charming after all.)

Ever since watching the Wild Wild West tv show with my dad, I have loved steam punk. Of course, it wasn't steam punk then; it was just Western Science Fiction. I love what people are doing with it nowadays. I am so impressed with the creativity of it all. I like taking things and remaking them into something else. It's challenging, and if I'm really honest with myself, art I can actually achieve. It's rustic and vintage as well as modern and futuristic. It's oxy moronic. It's dramatic and kick butt. It's just plain cool. Plus, it does remind me of one of the many things my dad and I have in common. In this case, we like cool guns, cool gadgets and girls in cool outfits. I like the outfits and the boots. Dad probably likes the girls...ew. I think I just grossed me out. Why yes. Yes, I did.

It's not a look for Wal-Mart shopping, granted, but it is a lot of fun. What's even better, is Bear likes it too. I think we'll steam punk the Man Cave. It's gonna be awesome! I'll show the pics when we're done...well, as long as I can get Bear on board I will.

So Steam Punk is my sub-culture...what's yours?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

A Little Insight Into the Female Mind: The Toilet Seat

Bear has gone to bed because he's tired. I had coffee because I'm not so bright, so I go to bed later. I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Before the pj pants drop I see it: the toilet seat is up.

Oh no. He. didn't.

Yup he sure did. He was really tired, and to be honest, it doesn't happen that often. When it does, I get miffy. Most women do. If you're reading this and you're a guy, let me break it down for you because there is a lot behind the miff of a toilet seat left standing.

You might think what's the big deal? Just put it down. Of course we will. It's the protective force field that blocks toilet nastiness from our personals. It's violating when a woman sits on a toilet bowl rim, especially if it's done in the cover of darkness without warning. It's as if our bodies have been invaded by unholy germs and vile bits of human waste. It's horrible! Truly disgusting and I shudder even now just thinking about it.

As a guy, you have certain jobs: kill the bugs, get up and check the scary night noise and put down the toilet seat. Notice all of these things are modes of protection. You want to be a woman's knight in shining armor? You want your woman to brag about you? Kill the vile Roach Demons, investigate the creaks and groans of the castle and defend your princess from the icy terror of toilet (I can't even think of a word hear just the shudder and sound you tend to make when you see really gross road kill on the highway). It's little things like the above that make a girl feel special, thought of, considered and pretty. Why pretty? Because if middle school taught us anything, it's that boys do thoughtful things for pretty girls.

So the crux of the miffy comes down to when you leave the seat up, we feel rather unconsidered. We like to think you think of us as often as we think of you, but we actually know you don't. However, you can trick us into thinking you do by putting down a toilet seat. It really does show you care about us enough to do a little something extra just for us. Maybe it's stupid. Maybe you'd get it if you ever fell into a toilet while you're half asleep in the middle of the night. Practice lowering the force field boys. I'm willing to bet you'd be amazed at the difference little things like that will make.