|Oh look...it's sparkly.|
Did I cut you off in traffic because I'm in a hurry and almost caused a wreck? I'm sorry.
Did I cough in your face? I'm sorry.
Did I just I snatch the last cookie at the party even though I knew you were headed towards it? I'm sorry.
Did I just go on and on about the new car I bought just because I could right after you just told me that you lost your job? I'm sorry.
Did I just say something about you that you weren't supposed to hear but you did and now your feelings are hurt, but if I'm honest, I don't really care because I really did mean every word and maybe you would be a better person if someone had told you this before? I'm sorry.
What's really being said is I'm sorry I got caught. I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt. I'm sorry you are in my way of getting what I want. I'm sorry you weren't thinking of me because I'm more important right now. In the words of Fat Amy, "Lezbe honest..."
I've heard nothing but "I'm sorry." for the past week whenever my children have misbehaved. The response was automatic and the expectation was that all should be well as I've uttered the magic "I'm sorry." All is not well yo. Not. Well. Now she's a snack snatcher and a liar. She's not sorry snatching that cookie. She's only sorry that she didn't get away with it! How do I know this is the case? 1) She keeps snatching cookies! If she was REALLY sorry, she wouldn't do it again. 2) I have heard all of my children use "I'm sorry" correctly. I know when they mean it and when they are attempting the Band-aid of Ill Behavior. It's been nothing by ill behavior around here. Kinda done.
From now on, it's not "I'm sorry." Those words have become empty and angering. It's "I shouldn't have done that." followed by the reasons why they should not have done whatever it is they did. I don't believe they are ever really sorry for hitting each other, so why lie about it? They get in trouble for lying. They can at least admit they shouldn't have smacked each other around. Honestly!
And so ends another rant on another day on another topic that parents try not to feel like failures about. Parenting is not for sissies. If the word "sissies" offends you, I'm sorry. Wait. No I'm not. Be offended. It's that kinda day.