(awkward and awesome)

(awkward and awesome)
First Wive's Club...one of Ma's favorites

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

no energy for a title

Ever been in that place where you can do no right? Nothing you do seems to matter. You're doing all the wrong things with your time it seems. Others are succeeding and doing well, while you just aren't. Work just isn't going anywhere. You ask God where to go and it seems as if you're just chasing your tail. Circles. Vicious circles are the only corners you turn. Am I stuck in the Waiting Place? I just want to know which way to go, who to talk to, which friends are the real ones and why business is pathetic. Am I in a time of trial? If I am not forsaken, I sure as hell feel forgotten. Did I step out of God's will without realizing it and now I'm lost? I feel lost...forgotten...alone...useless. My only task, if I can do it right, is to clean the house today because I have nothing left. I'm all out...of everything. People keep telling me the joy of Lord is my strength well....WHERE THE HELL IS IT?! No joy in stock...all gone. I don't know where the furtile soil is...I can't find it....I can't find it...