(awkward and awesome)

(awkward and awesome)
First Wive's Club...one of Ma's favorites

Friday, March 13, 2015

1..2..3..NOT FAT!

So...I made a confession on Facebook.  It goes as follows:  Even though I was dressed and ready for the gym, I sat in my car in the parking lot of the gym until I had to go the bathroom with such urgency that I would have no choice but to enter the gym.  Once in the gym, I would have no reason NOT to exercise.  Sad but true; I needed my bladder to urge me forward on this day.

I also wrote that if we could say "1,2,3 not it!" as children we should be able to say "1,2,3, not fat!" as adults.  I had a varied responses to the statement that I was fat.  This is why I need to tell you something.  Try not to get upset but...

I am fat.

That's where my arm and back meet...dirty birds.
It's true.  Just as true as it is that my eyes are grayish-blue and I have freckles on my shoulders.  I have a mole on my left shoulder that my friend Vicky likes to draw on.  See?
My legs are longer than my torso.  I have arms so long most long sleeved shirts are 3/4 sleeves on me.  I have hair on my feet,  (thank you, God, for making it blonde) and wide hips.  All of these things describe me physically.  That's ALL they do.  Nothing else.  It's just the current state of my body right now.

I wasn't cutting myself down.  I'm a believer in being your own best advocate.  If you don't want to buy what you're selling, why would anyone else?  No.  I was just saying "1,2,3..not fat!" is a great idea.  I stand by it.  It makes sense in theory...it's just that stinking reality  miffs it up every time.

I wasn't saying, "I'm fat, so I don't think I'm pretty."  I do not believe that FAT and PRETTY are opposites.  No, no, no.   I'm one of the cutest chubby chicks you ever did see.  I've seem lots of pretty girls who are larger than a size 12.  Smart girls.  Funny girls.  Hard-working girls.  Honest girls.  Just plain really fun and great to know girls.  All of them beautiful.  All of them in the shape of apples or pears.  Still beautiful.

But, I know why you thought I was busting on myself.  It's go-to put down isn't it?  "Well. you're fat."  It's the instant you-better-check-yourself remark.  "You're saying no to this booty call?  Psh..whatever.  You're too fat anyways."  It's the instant balm to a battered heart.  "I can't believe he dumped me, and now, he's dating that fat cow."   It doesn't matter if you're actually fat.  It's the world's way of saying you are stupid, lazy, ugly, and worthless in one tidy little three letter box.

However,  I rejected this world the day I asked Jesus to be Lord of my life.  I know my worth.  I'm worth dying for.  I know my beauty.  It comes from all those fruits of the Spirit the Lord is growing in me like joy, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.  I know of my intelligence and strengths.  The chunky had nothing to do with the brains.  And yes, I was lazy.  That's how I got fat.  I am learning my lesson one day at a time.  I training myself to be healthier, and it's hard and not easy.  I'll give you fat, but you can't have lazy anymore.  I'm working hard to reverse what I've done.  My goal is to go from fat to pudgy.  I'll pick a new goal from there.

So know this.  Fat is just a word that describes a physical form.  Nothing more.  Get out of that three letter box.  It's small.  Everyone's too fat for it no matter how thin they are.  If you actually are fat, don't fret at the word.  It can be a temporary physical description if  you want it to be.  You  don't have to stay that way if you're unhappy.  You can change your descriptive words by choosing to live a way that will help you be less fat.  It might take a lot of work, and it might even suck sometimes.   At least until "1,2,3..not fat!" catches on anyway.  We should market this.  This is a great idea.