(awkward and awesome)

(awkward and awesome)
First Wive's Club...one of Ma's favorites

Friday, August 31, 2012

I am SO not like that

If you find yourself saying the title of this blog, then yeah, yeah you most likely are just. like. that.  Sorry about your luck.

It's becoming more and more apparent to me as I roll on in this life that people really haven't met themselves.  When they describe themselves, you kinda look awkwardly around the room and think, "Who are they talking about?  Are they describing some distant relative with which whom they share a name?"  I'm not going the route of wish-this-person-knew-they-were-a-jerk.  It's more like, the more aware you are of you, the better YOU you can become.  The more you know you, the more you can appreciate the people who love you enough to deal with you on a daily basis.  My awesome sauce parents taught us self awareness at early age most likely due to the fact that we lived overseas and were not allowed to act like chickenheads.

Now for the fun part.  Test yourself.  Do you know you?

1)  Are you fully aware of your body type and how it effects you now and in the future?  I'm fat right now.  I'm working on it.  Found out my scale was broken, so I know feel as if I have to start all over as I don't really have an accurate knowledge of how far I've come.  As frustrated as I am, I know that giving up means I'm going the path of being the lady in the muumuu in the electronic cart at Walmart.  That lady is probably very nice, but I want to walk as long as I can on my own thanks.  This body I'm hauling now isn't going to haul it forever.  Gotta lighten the load.  If your load is already light, are you eating right and making healthy choices?  Think on it.

2)  Are you realistic about your personalities strengths and weaknesses?  Are you really funny or just sarcastic?  Are you really sweet or sour?  Do people really want to hang out with you or are your invites out of obligation?  Are you assertive or a jerk?  Are confrontational when you need to be or bossy diva who wants her own way all the time?  IF you don't know, ask.  Seriously.  Ask someone you know will not flake out on you and gush, but someone who will lay it out whether you like it or not.  Make sure this person is someone who won't take your moment of vulnerability and smash you like a pinata.  You don't need that.  Not helpful.  You are looking for insight not verbal battery.  If you don't want to ask a person, ask God.  Pray. He made you.  He's got the blueprints.  He knows.

3)  Do you  know your person boundaries?  I know most of mine.  My folks were also good about boundaries.  If you don't know how far you can go or how much you can take or what you just can't take,  people are going to upset you and/or take advantage.  If you don't like your kids tugging on your clothes, let them know and enforce the boundary.  My good buddies know this:  don't be too pushy with me, don't touch my face, don't take food off my plate unless I say it's okay and messing with my babies is basically asking me to hurt you in very painful ways.  I very much appreciate people being on time, keeping their sex lives to themselves, and treating my girls like every body else despite their size and communication delays.  I get along with a lot of people because I try not to cross their lines and vice versa.  Boundaries people.

So, be aware of you.  Being you is the one job on the whole Earth that only you can do, so you might as well rock at it!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

The Symptoms and The Rules

I was talking on the phone with a most fabu person, and this person said that her problem with churchy people is that they have so many rules for being an actual believer in God.

I hear that.

Let me be clear.  To be a Christian, the Bible says you have to believe that Jesus died for your sins, you are sorry and seek forgiveness for these bad things you've done, and you want Jesus to guide your life so that you don't continue to do these bad things that hurt yourself or others.  That's it.  Everybody got that?  I'll get to the rule thing in a mo...

Now, how can you tell if someone has made this life choice?  The same way you know if you have a cold: by the symptoms.  If you suddenly find your life long drinking, cussing, sleeping-with-anything-that-moves buddy is cutting down on such things until they are now Cola drinking, not so cussy, trying to respect themselves enough not to cheapen themselves and others with meaningless sex friend, you are looking at some symptoms.  This person is changing and showing signs of living a Christian life.  Symptoms.  Likewise, your "Christian" brother is lying on his taxes, talking seductively with women (or men, you never know) on line or in person, but are "faithful" to their spouse, and they have a tendency to treat service people like something they should scrap off their shoe, they are showing signs of living a most un-Godly life.  Again, symptoms.

Many times, a person who is really trying to live in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord, following the Bible, listening to others who actually follow the Bible isn't following rules.  They are just showing symptoms of Christianity.  That's all.

Back at the rabbit trail:  Unlike cold symptoms which are meant to warm and keep people away, these symptoms should be attracting people.  Kindness, love, helpfulness, courage and faithfulness are strong attractions.  If you're not attracting people, maybe your Christianity has cold.  Also, if people aren't saying, "Well, duh, Jen's a Christian." by my ACTIONS rather than my words, that's a symptom that I need to be getting it together.

Now as to the rules.  Yes, there are guidelines for Godly living in the Bible which by having a healthy love and fear for the Lord, you're gonna WANT to do as a Christian.  If you don't like rules, well sorry about your luck.  Civilized life has rules that benefit you.  So if you're all like, "Rules suck.", I'm sure you won't mind when someone steals your car.  Thieves think rules suck too.  I digress.

I give you the example of one of the best basketball player ever:  Michael Jordan of the Chicago Bulls.  He was an amazing player, and you know what helped him be so?  He knew the rules.  He could be so great and amazing because he knew the rules and used them to become legendary.  The same applies with God.  He doesn't want to limit you.  Those rules are for your protection, and so that by knowing them and playing the game well, your life and legacy is legendary.

To reference a previous post, while the rules apply to ALL believers, you need to make sure YOU are playing by the rules before you start telling others they are fouling out of the game.  Got that?

Oh and wanting to know and follow the rules, are symptoms of Christianity too.  I hope that clears things up.  Leave all comments and questions below.  I'd love to know what you think.

Friday, August 3, 2012

I'm Sure I Missed Something Somewhere at Some Time...

Aren't they cute?  Get a good look because they might not survive the summer break...and it's almost over!  Some where along the way I have failed in teaching my children how to consider others.

Example:  I don't like people touching my face.  I don't know why; it's a personal boundary none the less.  I didn't even like them touching my face as babies, and I strong discouraged it.  So do tell me if you can, why is it that my children see me asleep (as in taking a nap because Daddy's home and I can or maybe it's 6 am and OBVIOUSLY I should be up by now) and they come up to me and poke my face to wake me.  Poke. My. Face.  They know I don't like my face touched.  I've heard them tell each other not to touch Mommy's face.  And yet, and YET....they are poking me in the face to wake me up.  This is when I turn into a honey badger and guess what I'm not giving as I proceed to yell at my kids.  Now, this happens at least 3 times a week.  It's not like they are unaware of what's gonna happen next.  They aren't even surprised when I yell.  I can almost see their thought bubbles.  "Yup.  Poked her face....and she's awake.  I know because her eyes are open and red with lazer vision and deep breathe...and yell.  Okay good.  That was a successful run".  It's madness.

I remember steering very clear of my ma when she was sleeping and definitely NOT doing things that made her Hulk out if I could at all help it.  I realize now as a parent that's what consideration is.  Doing or not doing things to others that help them be the best they can be.  How do I teach this?  How did I not teach this?  We talk about such things all the time.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.  Is it really that hard?  Why won't they stop touching my bloody face when I'm trying to sleep for the love of all things good and holy?  Why?  WHY?

Where the frick is that squirrel when I need to kick him?!  AAARRRGGG!