A Little Insight Into the Female Mind: The Toilet Seat

Bear has gone to bed because he's tired. I had coffee because I'm not so bright, so I go to bed later. I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. Before the pj pants drop I see it: the toilet seat is up.

Oh no. He. didn't.

Yup he sure did. He was really tired, and to be honest, it doesn't happen that often. When it does, I get miffy. Most women do. If you're reading this and you're a guy, let me break it down for you because there is a lot behind the miff of a toilet seat left standing.

You might think what's the big deal? Just put it down. Of course we will. It's the protective force field that blocks toilet nastiness from our personals. It's violating when a woman sits on a toilet bowl rim, especially if it's done in the cover of darkness without warning. It's as if our bodies have been invaded by unholy germs and vile bits of human waste. It's horrible! Truly disgusting and I shudder even now just thinking about it.

As a guy, you have certain jobs: kill the bugs, get up and check the scary night noise and put down the toilet seat. Notice all of these things are modes of protection. You want to be a woman's knight in shining armor? You want your woman to brag about you? Kill the vile Roach Demons, investigate the creaks and groans of the castle and defend your princess from the icy terror of toilet (I can't even think of a word hear just the shudder and sound you tend to make when you see really gross road kill on the highway). It's little things like the above that make a girl feel special, thought of, considered and pretty. Why pretty? Because if middle school taught us anything, it's that boys do thoughtful things for pretty girls.

So the crux of the miffy comes down to when you leave the seat up, we feel rather unconsidered. We like to think you think of us as often as we think of you, but we actually know you don't. However, you can trick us into thinking you do by putting down a toilet seat. It really does show you care about us enough to do a little something extra just for us. Maybe it's stupid. Maybe you'd get it if you ever fell into a toilet while you're half asleep in the middle of the night. Practice lowering the force field boys. I'm willing to bet you'd be amazed at the difference little things like that will make.