A New Year...

It's almost 2015.  It's only a day away.  I'm not doing the whole New Year, New Me.  I'm going to be 38.  I'm hardly new, yet not quite old.  I must ask myself what can I do to be a better me.  If life expectancy rates still hold true, my life is half over.  I must make the rest of it count, and to be honest, I'm worried.

Not for myself.  I worry for my kids, for everyone's kids if I'm honest, in this day and age.  I worry that we are no longer raising shepherds but sheep.  Tow the line, don't make waves and just shrug your shoulders and say, "Do whatever feels right to you."  Don't step in.   Instead, make a video with your phone and put it on youtube.  Don't disagree.  Don't say no.  Don't stand up and be confrontational.  If you do, than you're a radical, a racist, a homophobe, a pick-a-religion-phobe, etc.

No one wants to say it, so I will.  It's really not about equality anymore.  Are some people still jerks about race and religion?  Yup, because it's about domination not  equality.  This is what worries me.  You would think that in this day and age, we could have one giant tea party where every race in the world, every religion in the world, social class in the world could sit down and hang out.  We won't agree on everything, but we can still live at peace with the idea that that person is allowed to be wrong about that thing.  But no, because your opinion HAS to be the same as mine, or you're my enemy.  Enemies have to be conquered and then punished, so that everyone knows how wrong they were and what will happen to anyone if they dare disagree with me.  MY opinion will dominate because it is better and therefor, unequal with yours.  It's bad.

I worry about my children and their safety as they get older.  Will they be victims of hate crimes because of their race or religion?  Will they be victims of sex crimes because no one teaches boundaries to their kids anymore?  Will they be forced to pick a god at gunpoint?  Will they one day have to take a life in order to save their own?  Oh yes.  I worry about the state of this once great country I live in.  I worry that we're letting evil stand and thrive because we're too tolerant to tell it lay down and die.  I'm even a little worried about writing all of this right now.

But then I look to the Bible, the book I believe tells of the one true God.  In it is a book called Ester. It's about a young woman named Ester becomes queen, though not by choice,  One day, she finds out that her people and family are forbidden weapons though they are about to be slaughtered simply for being related to a guy who had a different opinion of the importance of the king's adviser.  Though Ester is afraid and though it may cost her life, she stands before the king and speaks up to plead for help.  Why?  Because of her uncle's wise words:

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance from the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your family will perish.  And who knows but that you have come to a royal position for such a time as this."  Ester 4:14

 For those of you who don't like the Bible, let me put it this way.   It's been said that the only thing it takes for evil to persist is for good men to see it and do nothing.  Are we doing nothing but make videos for youtube?  Come on.

I cannot do nothing.  I cannot be silent.  I want a better world for everyone's kids.  You don't want to believe in Jesus, then don't.  I will just pray for you and move on.  I won't be a jerk to you if you won't be a jerk to me.  I will, however, fight for what I believe in.  I believe in Jesus.  I believe in courage of those who fight for our safety and freedom at home and abroad.  I believe in doing my best to raise my kids to be the kind of people who can be a good friend and neighbor to anyone no matter what they look like or what they believe while standing up for themselves and what they believe as well.  I believe in the United States of America and what she can be come again.  I even believe that tea party could actually place if we just treated everyone the way we want to be treated.

The great evil of today is simply letting certain things dominate.  Let's be truly equal.
- We live in the US, if you don't want to say the pledge, in the morning don't, but the rest of us want to.  Living in the US is also optional.  You don't have to be here if you don't want to be.
-Pray to whoever...like teachers and schools couldn't use more prayer.  Like this country in general couldn't use more prayer.  Just let everyone pray, not just one kind of church.
- It shouldn't matter what color your skin is.  It should only matter if you're jerk or not.
-If you're gay, be gay.  Most people really don't care. Just know that most major religions say it's not okay to be gay, so don't get mad at me.  Take up the matter with the god of your choice.  I didn't make that rule.  It's an easy one for me to live by as I'm not attracted to woman.  Now that don't be glutton rule...that one is hard.  I've very attracted to cake.
-  And if someone wants to know more about us and what we believe, they'll ask.  We don't have to push anything on anyone, and we certainly shouldn't be killing them if they don't want to be like us.

So in this new year, and every other year I happen to be on this earth for,  I will be better by standing up and being proud of who I am.  I'm not wrong for being born in the US, white, Christian, straight or female.  I just am as I am.  I will continue to educate myself, admit when I'm wrong and fight for those who can't fight for themselves.  I will not apologize for living my life boldly, and I know that I have been put on this earth for such a time as this.

How I Expressed My Sexual Freedom

I  bet everyone is all what is she doing now?

Hahahahahaha!

I've seen two blogs recently.  One on why one girl wasn't happy she waited until marriage for sex and another expressing that waiting was the best choice she ever made.  And these blogs honestly inspired me to share my story.  It might not be what you think.

If you're thinking that Jesus Freak waited until marriage for sex, you'd be right.  If you think it's all because of my belief in Jesus, you'd be wrong.

I asked my mom once, "Who has sex?"  She said, "Married people."  I think it was a short and sweet answer that wasn't a lie to make the little person to go away.  I do remember thinking, "Well, I'm not married so that's not me."

Then I got to high school, and I kinda wanted to do that thing that married people do, BUT I was completely terrified of getting pregnant the first time.  That kept my knees closed.  Then, I had classmates telling me their first time tales:  they were horror stories.  None of that sounded like fun or a good idea.  Some were so drunk, they weren't even sure it happened.  I remember thinking, "This sex stuff ain't for me."  I don't remember lying about having done it or not.  I was pretty okay with people knowing my virgin status.  It didn't seem like it should matter to them.

Probably  because it shouldn't.

Then at 17, I became a Christian.  Not supposed to have sex until marriage?  Sweet.  Now I have a built in excuse for not wanting to see you naked.  Not saying I wasn't curious or that I didn't have urges.  I was and I did.  I just wasn't willing to act on them because I knew I wasn't ready for all of what sex was going to bring to the table.

Then I went to college, and everyone was having sex.  All the time.  Everywhere.  Dorm 68 was filled with other people's genetic filth.  Yeah.  That happened.  That experience more than anything else convinced me that I wanted to wait until marriage.  Everyone was free to have all the sex they wanted, and not one of them really seemed happy or fulfilled by it.  I was free to say no to all the sex they had to offer, and I was plenty happy  and just fine.

Plus, sex is weird.  I mean, it's natural and all that, but it's way weird.  There's naked, and limbs, and awkward and messiness and where-do-you-think-you're-putting-that and...it's just weird.  Why did I have to say yes to this after 3 dates when the guy doesn't even know how I like my coffee?  I don't think so.  I didn't even want to walk in your dorm room without shoes on.  I'm not touching you naked; Goodness knows what's on  your skin.

I didn't want that kind of sex.

I didn't want to be a one night stand  and have someone use my body for masturbation. Be honest.  That's what one night stands are.  I didn't want to use someone like that either.  I didn't want to be a booty call because I wasn't worth the energy of forming a relationship.  I didn't want all the crap feelings that come with a sexual relationship that ends.  I didn't want all the crap feelings that came with having sex with someone outside of marriage when I was suppose to be a good Christian girl who waits for marriage.  Biggest shocker:  I didn't want to have a baby all by myself.   I saw it everyday.  All of it sucked.  None of it was something I wanted or needed in my life.

I expressed my sexual freedom by saying I want to have sex...but only with someone who wants to sex with me and only me.  Someone who is willing to actually know everything (especially all the crazy and there is at least  a 5 gallon bucket of that in the closet) me before doing the most intimate and weirdest thing you can do someone with me.  I wanted someone who was in it for the long haul.  Someone who is willing to wait and promise their utter devotion for life before sex.  That's a tall order.  (Good thing he's a tall guy...high five for me!)

That meant I didn't date a lot.  Of course, it also told me what guys really wanted.  Many times it wasn't witty conversation.  That's okay.  I liked knowing where I  stood even though I often stood alone.  Even though I got made fun of.   Even though sometimes it didn't feel worth it.

It was worth it.  Waiting was worth it because I have a man who would take me without sex.  He would, and I don't care if you don't believe it.  I lived up to my own standards.  I lived up to God's standards.  I was, and still am, sexually free.  Free to say no because I didn't want to.  I am now free to say I only want to have sex with my husband, and I am free to do so with said husband whenever I want to.   We have a license to practice.

Just one more thing.  This is my experience.  My life.  You don't have to like or agree with my choices.  I don't have to like or agree with yours.  We can agree to disagree.

 Just don't expect me to celebrate your slow descent into Hell.

I'M JUST KIDDING!  Although, some of you might think this is how I think.  Not true.

In reality, your sex life is between you and God.  Take it up with Him.  It's none of my business.  I can tell you the decisions I'd like you to make because I think they are what's best, but I can't tell what or who to do in real life.  It's not my life.  It's yours.  You have to answer for it, not me.  And truth be told, I honestly don't want to know the details.  Just know that I love you no matter what.  True story.  You know what else is true?

Waiting is worth it.

     

Guard. Your. Pearls.

Here is something I want everyone who reads this to understand.  Truly understand as truth as much as water is wet, the sky is blue and grass is green.  Whether you believe in God or not, it doesn't matter because true is true.  This is something that will only better your life, so hear me now.

Guard your pearls well.  Very well.

I'll tell you why.

Before I tell you why, let me tell what a pearl is.  Your pearls are all the precious things about you.  All those things that make you amazing, shiny and beautiful.  You know it's a pearl because it has to be pried out of you at times, and you're not comfortable just letting any and everyone see it.   Your tenderness for animals.  Your love of the sound of baby laughter.  Your obsession with organic  farming.  Your gullibility with people you trust.  Your belief in God.  Your virginity.  Your sense of humor.  Your hopes and dreams.  Your fears and insecurities.  Your victories.  Your failures.  Your you.  All of your good stuff, and you do have good stuff. You have a treasure in your soul.  Not everyone is worthy to see it.

And because not everyone is worthy to see them is why you guard your pearls.  Pigs don't know what pearls are.  They don't care either.  They only want for themselves.  It's very safe to say that many of you know what I'm saying right now because we did throw our pearls before swine, and we were trampled on and torn apart.  Maybe we were the pigs ourselves.  I can think of two times when I know I didn't see pearls for what they were.  I am deeply sorry for it.  I've also been torn apart by not being careful with my pearls.

I can tell you right now that there are very few people in this world who have seen all my pearls because quite frankly I just don't trust people.    Not right away.  Sometimes not ever. Show me how well you keep your precious things, and then we'll see.

One of the big reasons I married my husband is that he always makes me feel beautiful.  He's not even trying to get into my pants...usually.  (sorry..just sayin')  He is a very good steward of me.  I work very  hard to be a safe harbor for him.  I have a friend in Alabama I haven't seen in 3 years, but I would be willing to bet that she is still as she ever was which is one of the best friends I've ever had, and I will always be grateful to know her generous and forgiving heart.  I have 4 more friends in  various states, OH, CA, VA and Orlando  (If you haven't been to Orlando, trust me, it's a state all it's own with Mickey Mouse as it's benevolent dictator.) with whom I trust with my life..even my kids.  My sister and cousins-in-laws were truly born for my times of contention.  I'm not sure there are any in this world that would fight harder for me.  And I am blessed beyond measure to have friends down the street, around the corner, and just down Scenic Highway with whom I can do every day life without fear of judgement for stupid mistakes or for just being Jen.

Don't put your pearls on display.  Keep them hidden.  Guard them well.  Those who really want them will go diving and searching for them.  They will risk cutting themselves trying to pry them out of you.  They will see the value of you because they are willing to bleed for you.  That's big.  Way big.

I leave you with this reminder:  You have a treasure in your soul.  Treat it as such.  Give pigs the slop they want.  Save the pearls for princes and princesses who will take very good care of them.  You are worth the dive.  You are worth the work.  You are amazingly precious.  And that right there is as true as water is wet, the sky is blue and the grass is green.

Crafty Lady: Project 1: Felt Leaf Garland

I know this is a one week and one day late, but I couldn't get the pictures to download for love nor money.  So my Local Viking was going to take a look, and I was sitting there and saying the words, "Look, it won't download."  the pictures immediately download.  He just looks at me and says you're welcome.....shut up.

Anyway, today's project isn't necessary hard, but it is a bit time consuming depending on what you how long you want to make your garland or how perfect you want to  cut out your leaves.  What you need is the following:    Yarn, a needle big enough to thread yarn, felt in different colors, scissors.

 Yarn, a needle big enough to thread yarn, felt in different colors, scissors.

1) Use you scissors to cut out your leaves in what ever leaf shape or color you like.  I just free hand cut basic leaf shapes.

2) Cut a piece of yarn to your desired length.  7 to 10 feet is a good length.  Take measurements first if you're unsure.  Tie a knot in one end of the yarn, and thread the needle with the other.

 3) After threading  your needle, begin to sew through the leaf in a basic running or basting stitch.  Some felt is pretty thick, so this step can be more difficult that you think it should be.  Just a heads up.

4)  After you've sewn through the whole leaf, slide it down your length of yarn a couple inches shy of the knot.  Repeat step 3 and 4 until you've run out of room for more leaves.

5) Tie a knot in the other end.  Sit back and be all proud of yourself for being awesome.

Hope you have some fun with fall with this one.  Let me know what you think.  Leave me some feed back as to what kind of projects you'd like to see. 

I mean....come on...honestly

So I realize that people are not always good at priorities.  It happens.  I have to admit though that I feel we as humans aren't doing such a great job.  And it's just getting a bit out of control.  Here's what I mean.

We worry about how much people like our posts on any given social media, but we're not supposed to care about what people think of us in person.  As a matter of fact, we should act however we need to act to get what we want right now.

We worry about not offending anyone because we don't want people to think badly about us even if it means taking unjustified abuse from someone who thinks badly of you for whatever reason.

We judge each other's parenting decisions regardless of the actual outcome, (i.e. a decent person has raised) because we have the correct way.  The only way!  We know the truth, and your kid is going to jail.  We have more grace for religious differences than we do parenting differences.  It's madness.

And speaking of judging... no judging allowed.  It doesn't matter if you rape cats while murdering old ladies, no one can tell you you're wrong.  Common sense is in very short supply, but if you have a bit, please don't share Judgy Judgerpants.

We fret about diseases from everywhere around the world.  But we still don't lock our front and car doors.  Yes, viral epidemics happen, but if we all just wash our hands and use some tissue, we will most likely be just fine.  I guess it's easier to worry about viruses than to lock our doors.

We won't buy a chicken sandwich from a fast food joint that has an employee that doesn't agree with gay marriage, but we buy gas from and support the economy of nations that hunt down gay people and kill them in horrific ways.

We rail against, well anyone and anything that has fattening food, but we don't lay the responsibility of the over indulging of such food at the eaters feet where it belongs.  If it wasn't available, we wouldn't it.  Guess what?  If it didn't make money from you buying it, it wouldn't be available.  Capitalism baby.

And because I can, guns don't kill you.  They are simple machines that can do nothing unless operated.  If guns kill people, then forks make you fat.  Cups make you drunk.  Wrenches make you fix cars.  Shoes make you walk.  Glue guns make you craft.  It's all the same.

Priorities.  I'm just saying.  I hope you like this post, but if you don't, you can't judge me and I don't care what you think anyway.  If your mom raised you the correct way, this wouldn't be an issue.  Now, go wash your hands germ spreader.

  

And Now I Know

Something has been missing in my life, and I figured out what it is. It's this.  It's just writing about about what's going on in my life.  Apparently, it's part of my self care.  I am going to make Friday my check in day.  Tuesday will be craft day.   Maybe you'll be inspired.  Maybe you'll be inspired to pay me to make it for you too.  That could happen.  You never know.

So.  Today ain't so great.  I'm not dead, so I'm not done.  I am adrift in Tween Lake, and I can very much hear the Shrieking Eels swimming below.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know how I fell out of the boat.  I don't know why I can't seem to get through to my kid.  To sum up:  I don't know the $#%^$ I'm doing, and it's really freaking me out.

I have Jesus on speed dial.  He talks me of the ledge all day long.  Usually He reminds me that murder is on the Top 10 Hey That's Really Bad list.  He uses the humor in movie quotes such as the Riddler in Batman: "If you kill 'im, he won't learn nothin'."  He uses my sister who reminds me that blood stains never really go away and do I really want that kind of clean up because no one else will pick it up.  It's going to be all me.  He uses my friends who assure me that though prison might have cable, they have really bad arts and crafts.  I am almost ashamed to admit that the bad arts and crafts is what usually saves my baby girl's life.  I need to pray more.

I don't like this lake.  It sucks.  The water is cold, slimy and somehow feels like failure.  I know how amazing she really is.  I wish she could see what I see.  I wish she knew how beautiful, smart, creative and funny she actually is without trying so hard to be cool.  I'm just trying so hard to hold my head above water.  Just do a girl a solid and pray for us.  We need it.

I'm hoping next week will bring back the Pollyanna Jen we all know and love.  Right now, I'm going to Zumba on the Wii even though they judge you so harsh...so harsh.

 Have a great weekend and know that I haven't lost hope.  I will never lose hope that my children will end up on the right path somehow, some way, some day.  They are my heartbeats.  That's probably why it hurts so much when they stop dancing and start stomping.  It's a very good thing Jesus is my breath.  Though my heart my crack, with Him breathing life in me every second of every day, it won't stop.  It will beat on.  I will always love them.  Even in these unfamiliar and dark waters.

When Middle School Haunts You

You know, when you're just minding your own, and some one tells you about this great get together they had with a bunch of mutual friends...the get together you knew nothing about.  Now, you are a grown person.  You know that you will not be able to go to every event.  You know you won't be invited to every event.  You know that people can't always invite you to every event for various reasons.  You know that you can't make people invite you even if you want to go to the event.  You are usually quite adult about it, and carry on with your life in a rather grown up fashion despite the fact you still chew up food before sticking your tongue out at your sister.

But not today.  Today, Poof!  The Specter of Middle School has appeared right behind you.  Why he chose today, who knows?  All you know, is that right now you feel like you did in middle school.  Just not cool enough.  Just a little too awkward and geektastic to be invited.  Your feelings are hurt, and you feel rejected and very much left out.

Now, on top of all this you're feeling foolish because Grown Up You is fighting with this blast from the past, telling it all the reasons why it doesn't matter that you weren't there.  In the end, all the Specter can say, with sad and honest eyes, is "It matters because it does."

Boom.  There it is.  It matters because in that moment, for whatever reason, you are not your adult self.  You're that middle school kid trying to figure out where you belong and what you're all about.  It simply matters because it does.

I'm sure to regain my footing as Grown Up Jen by lunch time.  Until then, Middle School Jen will be at war with Grown Up Jen.  Middle School Jen will contend that if only she were smaller, quieter, prettier, funnier,thinner, add an -er to everything maybe she would be invited too.  Grown Up Jen maintains her position that anyone who want her to be more than she already is can suck it.  They lost out, not her, and if they are too stupid to want her jar of awesome sauce at their party, they just don't know what's good.

In the end, the reason this Specter pops up is that everyone wants to feel sought after.  We want you to hang out with us.  No one wants to be left out, or, even worse, have to invite themselves.  This is why people make an anthem of songs like "Raise Your Glass" by Pink.  People don't like us so screw them; we'll be awesome by ourselves...that's the basic message.  Grown Up Jen is definitely on the rally because she thinks that's a bit dramatic, and she would know.

Sigh.  If your Middle School Specter is haunting you today, know that this too shall pass.  Remember that the King of Kings has an open invitation for you any time, any day.  Also remember that around my way, as long as you are kind and respectful, you are always welcome.  You are always invited.



Unless you're a vampire...I've seen the Lost Boys...I know things...

TV Stay-cation location: Miami

Miami, FL ... or so says Google

It's summer, and who doesn't want to travel.  Given the stress of travel, probably a lot of people, but that's what makes TV so great.  You don't have to travel to experience a new place;  all you need is a TV show in a location you want to visit.  You won't have to even leave your comfy place.

Check out what I learned watching CSI: Miami

1)  Miami, as a city, is really shiny.

2)  Every person in Miami has a bathing suit ready body and loves to flaunt it at the beach and/or pool.  Healthy foods and exercise must be paramount there.  I haven't seen one average sized person yet.  No muffin tops.  No muu-muus.  Just really hot skinny girls in bikinis.  Also, going by how many guys are shown verses girls, there are a lot more women than men in Miami.  Babe fest, fellas.

2)  Speaking of average, to work in law enforcement, you have to be above average in the looks department.  Pretty boys and girls only please!  The gathering of evidence can only be done with faces of beauty.  That's why their solve rate is so high.

3)  Not only are CSI personal to be good looking, they must be impervious to extreme heat so that they can wear pants, long sleeves and jackets at all times.  They don't even sweat.  They are miracles of nature really.  I don't know if the same is true of all professionals in Miami, but the lawyers seem pretty unfazed and unsweaty as well.

4)  The problem is a good CSI in Miami has to be a hot mess somehow.  They all have personal drama.  It can be exhausting, but hey, that's how you find killers: by working through your problems that have nothing to do with crime.  I did NOT know that until this show.  Fascinating.

5)  Nature, however, expresses how hot IT is by making even the very air yellow.  That's why every thing looks yellow in outside shots.  However, AC inside buildings makes things more purplish.  Miami is a place of wonder.

6)  Wild life near Miami will only attack you if you're dead, dying or trying to dump a body.

7)  If you go for a romantic walk on the beach, you will find a dead body.

8)  Also, if you go fishing or hiking you will find a dead body or that the fish you caught ate a body.

9)  This stay-cation location is a good idea because if you go there, you're going to be killed either as an innocent bystander or because of your various illegal activities.  One of the two.

10)  Lots of dead things end up in Miami, and beautiful hot messes figure out why.

And there you have it.  Everything you need to know about Miami courtesy  of CSI: Miami.  I'd love to visit in real life, but I gotta work on my beach body first!  Hehehehehe!

Thanks for Bearing With Me

And I truly mean that from the bottom of my heart.  It's been a rough few months, but they've also been very beneficial for us a family.  We moved to a new home that might be smaller but much more us somehow.  The only real problem is outside bugs keep getting in.  While this helps with my weigh loss efforts (bugs make me physically ill), it's really gross.  We got some professionals coming by.  Praise be.

We have each of the girls going to new schools next year.  All of them in their own school.  This could get interesting.  Middle Miss will be in summer school as she didn't pass the FCAT; yeah, this is going to be fun.  I think my thoughts would be best expressed by the words of Wayne from the movie Wayne's World:
"Sh-haaa, and monkeys might fly out of my butt."  In other words, I anticipate trouble.  I pray that I'm wrong.

In other big and really good news. Big Miss doesn't need back surgery for her scoliosis.  She's also taller than me..5'11" at 11 years old.  Totally normal.  I love my Amazonian baby.

All in all, though the waters were rough, we landed in a safe harbor.  God is good, and He's been very good to us.  Once again, no matter what He has put before us, we have come through because He never leaves us.  You may serve other gods or no god at all, but as for me and my merry band of Amazons, nutter-butters, and LARPers, we will serve the Lord.  I highly recommend it.  That and Godiva chocolate.

That's good too.
 

Why I Need Your Grace For at Least a Month or So

And this about explains it...

And so...

Sigh...

The Bible says all things are possible with God.  It says this because there are times.  Times like right now.  Times when it's just too much.  Too much crap.

It's been one of the those few weeks where you are presented with info to "think" about, but in a blink of an eye, you have to make a decision and NOW!  Right NOW!  And the decisions are not easy and have consequences that overlap my own self and into the lives of my family.  The actions cost money, change, loss and require a lot of work.  The work isn't just now, but will continue in through the summer into the next school year.  The loss will effect the girls and Bear alike.  I'm not too thrilled, but I think I'm managing it better.  And all of this is to happen in the next month.

My brain is on overload.  I'm forgetting even the simplest things.  I'm staring at people I've known for years and wondering what their name might be.  I'm forgetting things I need to get done for work.  And laundry...dear me, it's like I've never done it a day in my life.  I wish that was a joke.

I know I will get through all this because I'm doing this with God thus making it possible.  I know it will pass.  So while my plate is so full that it's spilling over, please keep passing me glasses of encouragement and grace.  I need it friends.  I need it.

Hear Me, Pin-Masters of the Universe!

Oh the fabu that is Pinterest!  

I literally do not know anyone who doesn't know about this site.  It's a great site and a great tool.  I've used recipes and projects and color schemes.  If you haven't checked this site out yet (due to, I don't know, alien abduction or a coma or something), check it out.  It's super fun.

There is a dark side of Pinterest though.  It comes in the expectations that can arise.  

With this pin, I shall become a DYI goddess, and all shall bow before me in my photo glazing, glue gun toting, upcycling, mason jar beautifying glory!  I shall have girly cuteness in a jar, and all will stand in awe and amazement.  There will be no shocking lack of lace!  I shall be remembered as the Conquering Diva of Spray Paint and Craft Paper!  I will be loved!  I will be talked about in a good way even if I have poppy seeds in my teeth!  I will be...victorious!

This might seem like I'm being dramatic, I'm finding that I'm not off the mark.  I host a weekly gathering of crafters at my home.  We drink coffee and talk more than we make, and it's really a great girl time.  How is this relevant?  I've had several women tell me they can't craft (not that you need to come on over) and they can't even do the stuff on Pinterest.  Okay.  I hear you.  But let me give all you would be craft-masters-but-I'm-afraid-I'll-suck people out there a little truth in love.  

You are going to suck on your first try.  Unless you have an untapped gift, your first project or first attempt at a new hobby, is going to lack luster at best.  That's not bad or failure.  That's just real life.  Cut yourself some slack.  Real masterful works are not made in microwaves.  They are tried and true recipes that have gone through transformations, survive mistakes and are slow cooked to perfection.  Don't quit before you begin.  Don't let delusions of grandeur muddle your vision of reality.  Give it go, don't be scared to mess up and remember the best advice I've ever heard given by a cartoon character to date as seen below.

This quote is from the cartoon Adventure Time and said by Jake.

True story. Plus, not every project is a first timers project.  Photo shop works wonders.  Do you really think a non-artist painted those nails?  A chef with several degrees in culinary school made that dinner plate, and if you're a Hamburger Helper Hottie, it might a struggle for you.  Just because it's on Pinterest and you can't do it doesn't mean you suck at all things crafty.  Come on, now.

It, however, might mean that you don't enjoy the crafty craftness, but rather, you relish the idea of being a crafty crafter.  I would like to be an awesome cook, but I dislike cooking most seriously.  I only pin recipes I might actually make one day.  Maybe....maybe...  I digress.  If you don't like it, who cares?  Have your crafty friend make it for you in exchange for dinner.  I know I'd take that deal over door #2.  

Bottom line:  Pinterest is great, but what projects you can't do, doesn't define you....however those dirty jokes you pinned do...sinner. ;)

SNOW DAY!!!

I know what you're thinking.  It's winter; snow days are not unheard of.  Well, they are in FL my good friends.  I'm also starting the think FL is bipolar.  It's 67 degrees today and ice and snow tomorrow?  It's time to get some meds.  I think FL should keep an open mind about this.  I'll let it go for now.

I can't help but be excited and amused about all the hub-bub.  Of course, this isn't the type of weather we prepare for in winter here.  We do get out the cotton gloves, beanies and groovy scarves made by people with more talented in artfully tangling sheep wool than ourselves.  But that's about as far as she goes.  Humidity and hurricanes we can handle.  Snow?  That's crazy sauce.  The Sunshine State doesn't do snow.

You can tell by the way local Wal-Marts are quickly becoming the 4th level of hell.

I am hoping that all this is for something.  How cool would a snowball fight in FL be?  Crazy, amazing cool!  It's so rare that I would just love to have that memory with my girls.  It's hard to just have crazy fun anymore.  You really have to fight for it, or wait for a freak snowstorm in FL.  It's gonna be good.  Cold, but good.  If the ice crystals reign down, you can be there will be pictures.  And hot cocoa.  and marshmellows. and maybe a hot viking by a roaring fire...whoa...I digress.....