Yeah, see, here's the thing about growing as a person: you have to do things you never wanted to do...as in ever. Why do you have to do them? Because Life demands it. That's right. The great, all powerful force known as Life demands that you now perform an act of Are-You-Kidding-Me? by throwing you into circumstances that you cannot avoid.
Things like, your car breaking down 45 minutes from your house as you travel home from a rather fun Thanksgiving with family. Now, what's really great is you've had coffee. It was so good. Now, it's bitterness makes itself known as you are stranded miles from a bathroom, and you, by no means, are an outdoorsy kinda girl. You are the kind of girl who camps at the Holiday Inn. Life giggles and taps its fingertips together in anticipation. The show is about to start. More giggling. Because sometimes Life is a total butt munch.
Okay, so there I am. In pain. Waiting for the tow truck guy. My MIL, who is officially our knight in shining armor and shall henceforth be known as Lady Momsalot, has come to pick us up because the munchies are cold and getting very bored. The woods by the car are so thick, you have to hike up into them with a sherpa. I can barely stand. Time to get creative...and humble...and horrified...and scarred for life...and grow as a person.
I open the front door (and no, the light WILL. NOT. TURN. OFF.) and the back door, drape a blanket between them and balance. For a split second, I could almost pretend I was in a public restroom. (It was shockingly similar actually..when you think about it..whoa...) Almost...until the blanket fell. Nope. On the side of the road. Peeing while praying truckers don't notice the full moon as they pass on by. Personal. Growth.
I don't think I had ever felt like kicking Life in the groin until that moment, but in that moment, I sure did. And those are the Are-You-Kidding-Me? moments when you have to be a grown-up and do what has to be done even though you really don't want to. If you don't, Life just points and laughs like the butt munch lint licker it likes to be sometimes. Doing what you gotta do is the kidney shot that wipes the smug smile off Life's face. While Life is in pain, trying to breathe, you say, "Boo-yah Life! Peeing on the side of the road...like a boss! Yeah! In. Your. Butt Munch. FACE!" That's when you kick Life, so it knows you mean it! You do it with flair too, but you have grown as a person. That's right. Personal growth. It's gonna happen so be ready.
..still horrifying though...just sayin'...
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