It's Not the Shark You Can See, It's the One You Never Saw Coming

True Story. A Bit o'Back Story: My eldest children are under the ESE umbrella of Autistic Spectrum Disorder. #1 is under it because she still needs help with speech and testing. #2, well, #2 is a whole different picture.

At home lately, she's been using more words than jargon, expressing her feelings more, saying what the problem is rather than pitching a fit, being more physically affectionate and having actual conversations with her sisters and with us. I'm thinking, "Wow. Look at all this improvement." Dun Dun "This is so great." Dun Dun Dun Dun "She's actually communicating." Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun "She must being doing great at school." Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun "What's the music? AHAHAHAHAHAAAAHHHHH!" Chomp. Chomp Burp.

At school, #2 has been doing none of her work, defying teachers to the point of kicking them, she's woefully behind and refuses to do anything unless she wants to do it so says her teacher when she called this morning. Now, I have been getting notes home that say things like "#2 said no a lot today." Okay. I say, "You need to do what your teachers say and don't tell them no." She says, "Okay Mom. I will." If I get another note the next day, she loses a privilege, and then she has a good day the next day. I had no idea things had gotten to this point.

While yes, she she shouldn't tell her teacher no (and obviously, much more), I'm at a loss. How do I correct behavior I don't see at home? How do I address things that happened hours ago by the time she gets home. Sometimes she knows what I'm talking about and other times she has no clue why I'm griping. It's so frustrating.

Back at the rabbit trail: I seriously pray for everyone I know who is pregnant to have children that can communicate normally because this is crappy. Not being able to communicate with your kid normally s-u-c-k-s. It just does, and sometimes the only thing that makes it tolerable is the fact that it isn't terminal.

At home, I see nothing but improvement upon improvement, and to get a call that it's all going to hell in a handcart at school...bless America! There are NOT enough squirrels in the world to kick. I'm pissed and frustrated to tears and all I want to do is eat pizza. I'm pretty sure that's not really going to help anything though. I feel as if I'm being asked to solve a math problem with a blindfold on. "We know you can't see the problem, but we really need an answer. Can you solve this for us?" I know there is only so much the teachers can do. I'm not blaming anyone. But guess what? There is only so much I can do too! And if I was tailing her around the school, there is a very good chance she wouldn't act that way because I was there so I don't even know if shadowing her to see what she's doing would help. I don't know what would help. I'm pretty sure that throttling her when she gets off the bus today is a short term solution and counter productive to a long term goal, so I'll refrain though currently it seems like a really good idea. In fact, it's all I got in my bag of tricks right now.

So let's sum up today's drama in a tidy little math equation:

Angel at home + Demon at school = Mom doesn't know what the hell to do

Yup. That's about it. If you can solve this problem, please contact me as soon as possible. I'd love the answer key.