(awkward and awesome)

(awkward and awesome)
First Wive's Club...one of Ma's favorites

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Be Vigilant My Friends Who Wish for Successful Marriage...


Some thing happened last night. We've discussed it, and now, I wish to share it with you. Why? Because it is the Little Foxes of life that can make or break any relationship. Marriage seems to be the main target because once you get nice and comfy, you forget to look and listen for these little raiders.

And that's just it. They are little. Catch this.

In our pre-martial counseling class, Bear and I were told that little foxes are the things that steal our joy and love for one another and the be careful because they will shank you in the shower. That sounds bad. So we are careful when it comes to things like money, big life decisions and we don't sleep with other people....that last one saves A LOT of pain and heartache. Guess what? Those aren't little foxes...those are grizzly bears. You can see that coming because they're 7 feet tall with 3 inch claws and they growl. You can tell just how dangerous it is. You know that grizzly is gonna kill you if you don't respect it and handle it accordingly. Duh.

Little foxes look more like Little Debbie snack cakes. True story. Last night, I pull them out of the freezer to thaw because I like them NOT frozen and the kids need them for snack on Friday. About 2 hours later, Bear sees the box out and puts it back into the freezer because he likes them NOT thawed. About an hour later, I say, "Where are the Little Debbies?" Thinking the kids stole them, and now I have to kill the children. Bear says, "In the freezer. The kids took them out." (Notice how "the kids" are doing a lot of things without actually doing them...they are ninjas.) Little Fox time. I'm mad because if I want a Little Debbie with my currently hot coffee, I will have to wait for it to thaw thus making my coffee cold or I have to eat it frozen which I do not like. He's mad because I'm mad and why can't he like frozen Little Debbies? Can you say animated discussion and hurt feelings over something really dumb? Marriage is full of these moments...believe it. If you've ever wanted to cold-cock your spouse because my-word-you've-lived-in-this-house-for-3-years-and-you-still-don't-put-bowls-in-the-right-cabinet?! or if you've considered thrashing them because if-they-leave-their-shoes-were-i-trip-over-them-one-more-time...you know what I'm talking about.

Now, all of this could've been avoided if Bear had simply asked who took out the Little Debbies or if I had told him what I had done when I did it. We didn't, and that little fox came a-creepin'. Instead, we both felt like our wants weren't important to the other person. These types of feelings are the little foxes the destroy marriages and friendships. These are little moments that snatch and pull away all the good fruit and leave nothing behind. These are the things you need to be looking behind you in the shower for.

We not only look in the distance for signs of Grizzly Bears, but we also look along our fence line for signs of foxes. Sometimes it's easy and sometimes, it's not. We worked it out, though. Bear will try harder not to assume things, and I will try harder at letting him know why I've done what I've done. Like all things precious, your marriage will need defending and protecting. Watch out for the little foxes. They'll come a-creepin'.






1 comment:

You can tell me....