Rules of Engagement for the Fluffy and Fabu

Okay...I'm at the Bell's (or Beall's) Outlet looking for a shirt. Nada. Bummer. Of course, I wasn't the only one looking for fabu deals. And after hearing a few comments, I realized not all fluffy people understand the rules of engagement when it comes to looking for new clothes. Some of the rules are flexible but the first one is not.

1) Classy ALWAYS trumps trashy. Meaning: There are weight limits to tube tops, mini-skirts and bikinis. I think it's awesome that you have the ovaries to wear that in public, but it doesn't look good. People are making fun of you. Get on your I'm-Fuffy-And-Foxy-And-You-Wish-You-Were-Me soapbox in clothes that cover your junk up.

2) Like love, an Empire waist covers a multitude of sins...and that extra jiggle in your wiggle.

3) Don't get stuck on a size. They can vary from store to store, and outlets are famous for inaccuracy. Also, who cares if the outfit is labeled "maternity" if you're looking so hot you make fire stop, drop and roll.

4) If something is a size to small or a size to big, don't buy it. Even if it's on clearance for $3, you are more than likely NOT going to wear that garment. Save your money.

5) Bring your best I-Promise-To-Let-You-Look-Busted friend with you. The best of friends tell you the truth no matter how good you think you look.

6) If you like one thing about the garment on the hanger, try it on because you never know...what looks nice on the hanger can look crazy on the body and what looks "Say What?" on the hanger can look "Ohhhh Mamma!" on the body.

You'll be making everyone want to be you...if they don't already..ow!

(I'm serious about the weight limit thing...)