And Now I'm Over My Hissy Fit..Well, For Now...

So my sister asks, "Hey.  What ever happened to your Suck It Up Saturdays?"  So I told her.  What had happened was...

Bear noticed there was a crack in our scale.  We bought a really cheap one, so it's really not a surprise that it didn't last long.  We get a new professional one.  We zero it out.  We are ready to go.  Now, I'm thinking that maybe the reason I have hit a plateau with my old scale is because it's broken, and maybe I actually weight less.  

Bear gets on the scale.  It reads that he weights 30 lbs LESS.  Are you kidding me?  This was great for him because it gave him a boost to keep going with his own weight loss efforts.  I'm all WOOOOP!

I get on the scale.  It reads that I weigh 12 lbs MORE.  (Insert the profanity of your choice here)

Are. you. kidding. me?!

Not only am I heavier than I thought, but I don't even know where I started from really.  If the scale was that broken to read him heavier and me lighter that I have no real beginning weight.  How flippin' fat was I to begin with?  I don't really know, and because I don't, I don't really know how much I've actually lost.  It was like all that work I did was for 0 results.  Yes, I did lose weight.  My clothes are more loose.  People tell me they notice a difference.  I get that.  Here's the thing.  I've been in pain for the past 3 months now training for this half marathon.  I hurt all the time.  It's not fun.  I don't like working out; I never have.  I do it because I like the results, and I want to finish this diva walk.  I can't even say, "This sucks, but I've lost ____ lbs at least."  I don't have that.  Basically, it's starting over.  

So I was mad for two weeks.  Still worked out but didn't do WW or anything like that.  Bear finally said what I needed to hear.  "Keep going or quit.  And since you're not much of a quitter, I guess you're going to keep going."  So onward my friends.  Starting over.  Putting on those big girl panties of mine and getting on with it.

I am SO not like that

If you find yourself saying the title of this blog, then yeah, yeah you most likely are just. like. that.  Sorry about your luck.

It's becoming more and more apparent to me as I roll on in this life that people really haven't met themselves.  When they describe themselves, you kinda look awkwardly around the room and think, "Who are they talking about?  Are they describing some distant relative with which whom they share a name?"  I'm not going the route of wish-this-person-knew-they-were-a-jerk.  It's more like, the more aware you are of you, the better YOU you can become.  The more you know you, the more you can appreciate the people who love you enough to deal with you on a daily basis.  My awesome sauce parents taught us self awareness at early age most likely due to the fact that we lived overseas and were not allowed to act like chickenheads.

Now for the fun part.  Test yourself.  Do you know you?

1)  Are you fully aware of your body type and how it effects you now and in the future?  I'm fat right now.  I'm working on it.  Found out my scale was broken, so I know feel as if I have to start all over as I don't really have an accurate knowledge of how far I've come.  As frustrated as I am, I know that giving up means I'm going the path of being the lady in the muumuu in the electronic cart at Walmart.  That lady is probably very nice, but I want to walk as long as I can on my own thanks.  This body I'm hauling now isn't going to haul it forever.  Gotta lighten the load.  If your load is already light, are you eating right and making healthy choices?  Think on it.

2)  Are you realistic about your personalities strengths and weaknesses?  Are you really funny or just sarcastic?  Are you really sweet or sour?  Do people really want to hang out with you or are your invites out of obligation?  Are you assertive or a jerk?  Are confrontational when you need to be or bossy diva who wants her own way all the time?  IF you don't know, ask.  Seriously.  Ask someone you know will not flake out on you and gush, but someone who will lay it out whether you like it or not.  Make sure this person is someone who won't take your moment of vulnerability and smash you like a pinata.  You don't need that.  Not helpful.  You are looking for insight not verbal battery.  If you don't want to ask a person, ask God.  Pray. He made you.  He's got the blueprints.  He knows.

3)  Do you  know your person boundaries?  I know most of mine.  My folks were also good about boundaries.  If you don't know how far you can go or how much you can take or what you just can't take,  people are going to upset you and/or take advantage.  If you don't like your kids tugging on your clothes, let them know and enforce the boundary.  My good buddies know this:  don't be too pushy with me, don't touch my face, don't take food off my plate unless I say it's okay and messing with my babies is basically asking me to hurt you in very painful ways.  I very much appreciate people being on time, keeping their sex lives to themselves, and treating my girls like every body else despite their size and communication delays.  I get along with a lot of people because I try not to cross their lines and vice versa.  Boundaries people.

So, be aware of you.  Being you is the one job on the whole Earth that only you can do, so you might as well rock at it!