but what, Lord?

Do you just have that feeling that something has to give? Something has to change? Something, somehow, somewhere is going to do something that is going to change things, possibly forever? That's where I'm at today...the waiting place but I really don't feel that it's going to be for long. I just don't know what's going to happen. I've been praying for something, and honestly, I don't know what. That's been my prayer: "Lord, I don't know why but I'm feeling that things are going to change and I need you go guide my steps for Your glory and for the good of my family." So He answers (because that's what He does), but what? What is the IT I'm looking for? What's the THING He's sending our way? It's almost as if it's in air which makes it even more fist clenching because you can't see air! The game's a-foot! Let's see what happens next...be praying y'all....

Inspired By Marco Germar...

He was a finalist on So You Think You Can Dance. I so blame Vicky because she made me watch it. Anyway...(still Vicky's fault)...this guy could dance. It was something he said, rather than a piece he danced that really got me stirred.

"If you have a reason to live, then you don't have a reason to quit." -Marco Germar

Do the math. If you only but one reason to live, you have zero reasons to quit. It just so happens I have more than one reason to live.

1) My children: I don't think people realize just how blessed they are to have normal, run of the mill children. Having said that, no matter what, I wouldn't trade my girls for ANY (bleep)-ing thing on this planet. It is, however, heartbreaking to see them try so hard every (bleep)-ing day to be normal and to have them ask "Why am I so different?" It takes everything they've got just to hold a conversation, some times just to be. If they aren't quitting, what gives me the right?

2) My husband: he's a good, goofy, adorable, giving, kind, helpful, trustworthy and everything any woman could ever want and ask for in a husband. That being said, he's my husband; keep your home wrecker hands off his body if you'd like to keep your hands attached your body.

3) My family: they are wonderful and loony. That's the way I like them. They believe in me when I don't believe in myself. Since they love to be right, I can't let them down either.

4) My dreams: I do have things I want to do in this world. Only I can do them.

5) God: I ain't dead yet, so I'm not done yet. There must be more on the agenda.

I have much to do, no good reason to quit. Guess I'd better get to it, y'all. (Vicky's fault, remember?)

Mama Say GGRRRRR!!!

OH. NO. You. did. not.

God loves my children. They have not perished at my hand though not for utter lack of trying.

My eldest is going through the beginnings of puberty...how do any of us survive our parents? The grace of God, my friends. That's why.

It begins.

She screams. She slams doors. She pitches worse fits then those of her 4 year old sister. She seems to be earnest in her professions of not understanding why such behavior is unacceptable. She knows better than I do...obviously. She tries (and usually fails thus the behavior listed above) to do whatever she wants when ever she wants to do it. She has cried all night because she was punished for trying to take things that weren't hers. She had to write sentences. You would've thought we put the child on the rack. I kid you not. She didn't finish before bedtime. She had time to work before church. Plenty of time. Now we stay home because she wasn't done in time because "Well, I just don't want to write it! I never will! Never!" And now, 3 hours later.... Still. Not finished.

I could so use an un-dead monkey to shoot at right now.

I now see why people give up. I understand why some parents just can't do it, deal with it, stand it anymore, and I've got years until independent children. It would be so easy to give up, and goodness know, I really want to just to make the drama stop. But I can't because if I make it easy now, she won't be able to take the hard stuff. It hurts now, but I have the feeling it will be unbearable later if I don't stand firm. I'm angry. I'm tired. My throat hurts. I think I could be more fore bearing if the fits were over things like not being able to eat all day, but they are over things like picking up shoes. Really? Oh yes, really. @#$@%@$%!#$!!!!

You keep praying for our ultimate survival. I'll go look for that un-dead monkey. Hopefully, he's got a bucket of sanity and a pardon from the governor.

Rules of Engagement for the Fluffy and Fabu

Okay...I'm at the Bell's (or Beall's) Outlet looking for a shirt. Nada. Bummer. Of course, I wasn't the only one looking for fabu deals. And after hearing a few comments, I realized not all fluffy people understand the rules of engagement when it comes to looking for new clothes. Some of the rules are flexible but the first one is not.

1) Classy ALWAYS trumps trashy. Meaning: There are weight limits to tube tops, mini-skirts and bikinis. I think it's awesome that you have the ovaries to wear that in public, but it doesn't look good. People are making fun of you. Get on your I'm-Fuffy-And-Foxy-And-You-Wish-You-Were-Me soapbox in clothes that cover your junk up.

2) Like love, an Empire waist covers a multitude of sins...and that extra jiggle in your wiggle.

3) Don't get stuck on a size. They can vary from store to store, and outlets are famous for inaccuracy. Also, who cares if the outfit is labeled "maternity" if you're looking so hot you make fire stop, drop and roll.

4) If something is a size to small or a size to big, don't buy it. Even if it's on clearance for $3, you are more than likely NOT going to wear that garment. Save your money.

5) Bring your best I-Promise-To-Let-You-Look-Busted friend with you. The best of friends tell you the truth no matter how good you think you look.

6) If you like one thing about the garment on the hanger, try it on because you never know...what looks nice on the hanger can look crazy on the body and what looks "Say What?" on the hanger can look "Ohhhh Mamma!" on the body.

You'll be making everyone want to be you...if they don't already..ow!

(I'm serious about the weight limit thing...)